Monthly Archives: March 2013

What Validation Means to Me

On March 17 2013, (St Patrick’s Day) as part of my journey to full communion with the Roman Catholic Church, my marriage of 21 years was validated.


The technical answer involves me having been baptized in the Catholic Church and not officially leaving as a teen and then getting married later without the Church’s permission. This all came as a surprise to me, since, I didn’t know I belonged to the Catholic Church, let alone departed unofficially, and needed permission to marry whomever I wanted. So I had to get two witnesses to fill out notarized affidavits as did Kimberly. Then we had a small ceremony which amounted to a wedding. Our daughters were our witnesses. It was really beautiful and extremely cool.

The not-so-technical answer came as a surprise to me too.  This was not so much explained as it was revealed to me while going through the process. To unearth my spiritual past, I discovered that the old non-denominational church through which I was married had no internal record of our marriage. I was directed to the civil authorities that maintain such records and licenses. In essence, my marriage was validated by the full faith and credit of the State of Maryland which is next to worthless anyway.

In addition, civil “progress” on marriage would have us believe that a marriage between a man and a woman is just one of many marriage formats including same sex marriage and the many that will follow—and they will. Forget natural law, divine law, social health and morality, what the people want, even arbitrarily, by popular vote and the force of media will become the civil definition of marriage. And so, my marriage, is simply one of those floating in a broth of what’s-happening-now.
But there is a governing body that thinks otherwise, one that has been around for thousands of years, transcending government institutions like the Supreme Court and simply outlasting the continuous cycle of hard work->prosperity->stupidity->moral decline->extinction nations are prone to repeat including ours. Now my marriage is validated, recognized and archived under a more logical and stricter definition. It requires submission on my part (i.e, conforming to the truth, not redefining it) but will also provide backing for the onslaught already in progress.

What also came as a surprise is the deepening of my relationship with Kimberly. At least for me, it has changed me at the core and in ways words cannot describe. In the days that followed our validation and the resolve to live according to Church teaching, it was like being in love again. I couldn’t stop thinking of her; I wanted to get home as soon as possible to see her and be with her.
So then, reprobate world, redefine marriage however you want. Muster meaning in a world of malleable definitions including the ones that suit you. Let the governments of the world declare freedom for its people—freedom to marry whomever they want. Freedom to do what’s right in their own mind like a drug addict thinking more drugs will liberate him. But I have discovered true freedom: the power and desire to do what is right and I know now that everything else is a counterfeit.